Boredom: Redux (Part 3)

July 21, 2021

by Nicholas Vance

This is the third and final part of our series on boredom. You can read part one here and part two here.

At our young adult night back in May, we had a time of Q&A at the end, and one of the great questions that we got was: "all this theoretical stuff is great and all, and I think I have a good way to think about boredom and love, but what is the practical solution to all this boredom in our lives?".

While I was a bit flustered trying to come up with the right thing to say, Fr. LaLiberte had this quote ready to fire from the hip in answer:

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything." (from Finding God in All Things: A Marquette Prayer Book, attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, S.J.)

I couldn't have said it better myself. This love and communion that we've been discussing is the genesis for all the changes that we ought to make in our lives to guard against this lethal boredom. If we start thinking that the love of God does not have practical implications for our lives, then we have far more problems than just boredom. Thus, when asking questions about how boredom impacts your life, ask prayerfully whether the things present in your day are rooted in the love of God? Are there things in your day that you would be embarrassed to talk to God about? Why?

That being said, I think it would be strange to not at least give a few starting points in the practical sphere. While I certainly can't cover anything, and my life probably looks a lot different than yours (classic seminarian gig and all), I offer a few suggestions to help you run from boredom and (far more importantly) run to the love of God.

Protect your mornings
First part of the day first. If you're not a morning person, become one: one of the priests at the seminary often says "anyone has the capacity to become a morning person." There's a glorious time of day available before all the commitment begin, when the world is hushed, and you can snatch some glorious time of silence. This beautiful chunk of time is something I thrive in, and I'm also probably really spoiled by it. Cup of coffee, light breakfast, a time of prayer, reading, holy hour, and just being in the silence. Importantly, I haven't even picked up my phone. The first words I speak out loud in the day are usually the "God come to my assistance" at the beginning of morning prayer, almost two hours after I've gotten out of bed. What's the alternative to this? Getting up late, a rushed breakfast, a stressful commute, and feeling like you're playing catch-up all day. Not exactly ideal. Here's the thing: this kind of commitment to guarding your mornings starts the night before: actually going to bed when you mean to, and doing it intentionally. One of the things that our parents tried to teach us as kids (putting ourselves to bed) is still somehow so hard to do. Fr. Mike Schmitz had a great video on this a while back, give it a watch. (Disclaimer: you might be one of those people who thrives on irregular sleep patterns or the stress of playing catch-up. If that's working for you and is fruitful, keep crushing it and disregard this last point. Also, teach me your ways.) (Second disclaimer: if you a parent with young children, their sleep usually dictates yours. God bless you for the sacrifices that you make for your children!).

Social media
If you haven't seen it yet, watch "The Social Dilemma." It completely blew my mind about the world of social media, and was one of the driving reasons for me deleting it. I leave it up to your discernment, but it has become very apparent in the last few years how dangerous and addictive social media can be. Do you use it as a crutch to get away from real in-person interaction? When was the last time you were standing in line at the coffee shop and didn't pull out your phone? Instead of scrolling through memes and occasionally letting out a small snort through your nose that counts as half of a chuckle, when was the last time you laughed so heartily in the middle of a conversation that you cried? Do you trade friendships for followers? Is the cost you pay for social media (the time, the investment, the boredom) really worth it? If you're looking for a sign to more carefully discern how you interact with social media, this is it. If none of that convinced you, here's a TED talk that really sealed the deal for me.

Find a creative hobby
Even though I usually think of something like collecting stamps when someone says the word "hobby," I recently realized that if I actually sit down and write out how I spend my time, my personal time and leisure time is actually pretty lame. I'll watch a show or browse some articles online, but I very rarely do anything that's life-giving. I tried to remember what I did as a kid before all of the screens, and I was hard-pressed to remember. So I sat down and learned something that I've always wanted to try: woodcarving. After several months of practice, I'm still terrible at it, and I have cuts all over my hands to prove it. Aside from playing music, it is probably most truly enjoyable thing I do in my free time; a chance to be creative and try something new. So I ask you the same question: what did you do when you were a kid, before all the screens and schedules? What's something you've always wanted to learn how to do? Have the kind of patience and love for yourself and the world that lets you be creative and try new things that are totally "unproductive," and see what a seemingly boring hobby can do for you.

Keep reading
Shameless self-promotion, but I think a previous article by yours truly might be helpful here in our discussion of boredom, give it a read.

Those pesky phones

Aaand, we're back to technology. A professor randomly said this to the class in undergrad, and it still stays with me: "technology is individually optimal and collectively terrible." I might able to finish "all the things I need to get done," but it's usually at the expense of those around me. Discipline the technology in your life: if you don't rule it well, it will rule you. Put your media consumption on a daily schedule (e.g. no emails after 6pm, no cell phone before 7am and after 9pm, etc.). Keep your phone out of your bedroom (buy a cheap alarm clock if you need to). Have sacred spaces in your house that technology does not enter. It sounds silly, but I believe it to be vitally important. I realize how ironic all of this is as I write an article for a blog :) But I trust that the point stands.

Reflect on what causes you to get bored

Make a list of things that you get bored doing. Start with the obvious things (e.g. cleaning the bathroom) and move to the more specific ones. Especially take note of ones that you wouldn't like to mention, such as getting bored chatting with coworkers. Sure, small talk can be a drag sometimes, but the person sitting across from you has an immortal soul that and is deeply loved by God. Can you snap out of your boredom and love them too? How are you called to bring the love of God into something like cleaning the bathroom, instead of looking for any kind of escape from it?

Set some goals
As long as we're making lists, write down your goals. Don't have goals? That means you haven't been dreaming enough. Boredom seems to kill any kind of dreaming, but running after your goals tends to suffocate out boredom. Put your goals in writing, somewhere that you'll regularly see them, and figure out what you need to do to get there. Don't give up on them just because you're "busy." That kind of thinking puts productivity above communion and identity.

There it is! I hope these starting points are helpful, and I hope that as you continue to reflect on boredom and communion in your life, that it would lead you into greater hope and love with the Lord.

Nicholas Vance is a seminarian studying for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. A West St. Paul native, he came back to the Faith his freshman year of college, and became involved with Saint Paul’s Outreach and the Catholic Studies community. He graduated from the University of St. Thomas in 2018 with degrees in Communications & Journalism and Catholic Studies. A rueful marathoner, a Röpke-Wojtyła Fellow with the Catholic University of America, and a once-upon-a-time youth minister, he loves hiking, reading, playing music, and the delightful first sip of coffee in the morning. He proudly calls Transfiguration in Oakdale (“the rockin’ East Side”) his home parish, and is in seminary formation at the Saint Paul Seminary.